UNDERCULTURE

This painting actually started a while back but I could never get quite the scale and light right. It was based on one of our Runequest games, where the characters entered an ancient temple of unimaginable dimensions. It was all very Lovecraft-ian. At the same time, though, I was reading JDatE and so, I kept on imagining much more macabre Old Ones themes. All of this filtered and bubbled in the back of my mind. Long story short: I managed to get the scale and light right. Right down at the bottom are the figures.

The high-quality, large version can be found here.

I was asked, a while back, to paint a wolf. The person who asked it, obviously, wanted a “pretty” wolf, like you see in posters, full of the nobility and virtuous solitude we tend to imbue these animals with.

Unfortunately for her, I heard “wolf” and immediately thought of The Mountain Goats’ song where they talk about Romulus and Remus’ wolf coming home. Add to it a little malevolence and you have this. I consider it one of my best pieces (thus far).

The high-quality, large version can be found here.

Here’s a painting I’ve just finished for Isabella’s nursery (Robert and Hannah’s little girl). As always, the photo doesn’t really do it justice. I am particularly proud of the textures I got in the tree and grass as well as the light in the sky.

Here’s a little something I drew for some of the PWOT guys. I quite liked the way it came out.

I’m getting the hang of GIMP, slowly but surely. There may be more coming.

[Edit: 14 March 2009]

Once upon a time, there was a particularly virulent and hateful post about EPSAC (Eastern Province Society of Arts and Crafts) on Underculture. I’ve removed it because I was politely asked to by one of the current members (and, as I’ve always said, I’ll gladly remove and edit posts if I’m asked nicely).

Nevertheless, I also think that the reasons behind the request require a little exploration.

You see, this new committee (including the person who contacted me about the EPSAC post) want to launch a website as part of a drive to modernize and update EPSAC. They want to revolutionize the institution and shed its stigma as a middle-class art collective pandering to the lowest common aesthetic denominator. This is a laudable goal and deserves my support, which is why I took down the original post.

But what must be borne in mind is that this effort to shed the mantle as Port Elizabeth’s club for Sunday painters is not the first. Nick Allen and others tried to do so in the late eighties and early nineties. And, when I came on board in the mid-nineties, this was also our committee’s main thrust, as it was under Heidi’s watch after me. Every single committee has seen the need for this change and every single committee has failed. Why?

Well, I think that the problem is that the society is too inclusive: by accepting every person with artistic pretension, you’re going to naturally lower the aesthetic bar. It is a sad fact that there are far too many people who consider themselves artists who simply shouldn’t (and, obviously, that trickles down: many people probably feel the same about me). In fact, I would even venture so far as to say that most who do cover themselves with the mantle of “artist” should be strongly dissuaded from ever picking a pencil again, but I digress. The point is: the moment you open the door to the masses in what is, essentially, a very complicated endeavour, you’re going to lower the standard and drive away the significant contributors.

It would be akin to Physics and Engineering Society opening its doors to everyone, and allowed any soul off the street to present papers and discuss theories. It would only be a matter of time before the actual physicists and engineers were drowned out and alienated by pretenders whose grasp of the specialized skills would be tenuous at best. This would be followed by the amateurs having to fill in the vacuum and then walk around asking where all the engineers and physicists went.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I am not saying that I am an artist worthy of such an exclusive society and others are not. Far be it for me to dispense judgements willy-nilly. But what I am saying is that, for complex subjects, some criteria is infinitely preferable to no criteria at all. And you can see this clearly when such societies are asked to make a judgement: it ends up being a poor one, left, as it was, in the hands of amateurs who are woefully ill-equipped to handle it. A society for artists needs to be exclusive. It must be exclusive if it wants to survive.

Now, I understand that EPSAC needs donations to survive and does not want to be seen as elitist but, Jesus Fuck, it surely cannot just carry on as is!

I’ve been asked to join. I am a professional painter. What does it really, truly offer me that I cannot get anywhere else? When the committee can answer that, I’ll join up. Honestly.

Update: I’ve joined. Let’s see what comes out of it.

I want you to take a good, long look at this pillow I saw at Sheet Street. Look at it!

Why does it have a hole in it? Why would anyone buy this? Why would anyone manufacture this? More importantly, what is it called?

I’m going with Hideous-Looking Sphincter-Like Pillow. What are your suggestions?

Good
I don’t have much for you on the Good side today, except, maybe for this kickass collaborative effort I’m involved with, and this beautiful video about believers’ views on open mindedness.

Bad
I was at the airport on Friday to pick up Marc. His plane was due to land at 08:10. I got there at 08:05 and decided that it’d be best to go through the “drop and go” zone outside Arrivals. I find a spot between two cars and stop my car there. I wait patiently in the driver’s seat, with the engine is still running. I notice s traffic officer, traffic fine booklet in hand talking to the guy in the car behind me. They’re too far for me to hear. It ends with the guy starting up his car and driving off. The traffic officer then steps up to my car.
“Good morning, sir. Are you aware that this is a no parking zone?” He says, pointing to the large no parking sign.
“Yes, but I’m not parking, I’m waiting to pick up someone.”
“You are parked.”
“Erm. No. I maybe stopped but I’m not parked.”
“What is the difference between being stopped and parked?”
“I would assume it’s whether or not you’ve left the car” (it turns out I was right.)
“Haha. No. Anyway, this is a drop off and go zone. Are you dropping off anyone?”
“No. I’m waiting to pick up someone.”
“Exactly.”
“Wait, are you telling me that someone build a drop off and go zone outside arrivals and you don’t think it’s for picking up people?”
“Listen, I’m not going to argue technicalities with you. I’m just telling you that this is a no parking zone.”

Now, I’m sure that the guy was just doing his job and doing what he was told but he didn’t react like a human being. You see, wherever you have rules and laws, there will come a point where reason and rationality will clash with them. In these cases, you except the person to favour reason and rationality over the blind adherence to the rules. This is the mark of a human being. Not doing so just makes you a bureaucrat, a robot and a… well… not a human being.

Ugly
You think you got bad service? Ah! Let me laugh at you! Ah! Again! Try this on for size: Danni and I were travelling to St. Francis so we stop at the petrol station on corner of Rink Street and Russel Road. I get my car filled and my tyres seen to while Danni steps inside the shop for cigarettes and something to drink. While she’s at the counter, the assistant at the till asks her: “Can I have your sunglasses?”
To which, Danni replies: “Erm. No. They’re my only pair.” “No, you must have another pair. You’re white so you must be rich.”
“Erm. No. This one is all scratched. See. I don’t have another pair,” she says, stunned and leaving the shop.
At which point the cleaner, mopping the aisles says: “You white kids have got too much money.”

The story was only related to me later, otherwise I do believe that we would have reported them. That kind of service rudeness is breathtaking. I would recommend that this particular patrol station gets boycotted for a while but I know that it won’t affect the guilty parties.

Now, onto our gems from the EP Herald’s letter page. We’re going to start with my favourite:

Please don‘t quote other people‘s words.

Al-right-y then! We’ll just quote their gestures and facial expressions. (Sarcasm aside, though, I want you to re-read that quote and let it’s full impact hit you.)

Freedom of choice you have, freedom from the consequence of your choice you do not have. Jesus is the pen who writes our name in the book of life. Reject Him and blaspheme against Him, and face His wrath. It‘s your move!

I love this particular novel interpretation of freedom: you are free to do what you want but if you don’t do what God wants you’ll be punished. That’s awesome but not really free. By that token, then, there are no rape victims, just woman freely chose between sex and death.

His first utterance was to curse a man from the audience. He said: “F … off! How dare you disrupt us, nobody disrupts you at your office.” Ntosh was downright rude and made us in the audience feel uncomfortable by repeating the F-word which was unnecessary. Not to mention Xhosa vulgar and curse words.

A little bit of context is needed to understand this one: the writer is shocked that a stand-up comedian swore on stage, as part of his act. Well actually, that says it all. being shocked that a stand-up comedian used “curse words” is a bit like being shocked that women have nipples.

In summary, you can rest assured that the Bible is reliable word for word. The factual evidence contained therein proves that it is God‘s inspired, inerrant Word.

Inerrant? Ooh. Someone didn’t do their homework. Maybe someone should ask her about Babylon, Tyre or the Exodus.

This is another piece for an upcoming exhibition. I normally don’t do still-lives or nudes but, every now and then, I get bitten by the bug and I’ve just got to get one done. It isn’t purely self-indulgent, as it does give me quite a bit of scope to refine some my techniques. But, at the end of the day, it’s not nearly as much fun as creating more surreal and fantastic images. This one is called Solace.

The high-quality, large version can be found here.

Alright! Alright! Stop it already. I’ll get back on the horse and continue with the PE Report. I hope that it’ll keep you happy. FSM Damn it! [In all seriousness, though, thank you for the emails and calls and support I’ve received about the PE Report. I had no idea it was so popular. It warms the cockles of my heart]

Good
We went to the Manville Theatre on Saturday for some live music under a beautiful blue sky. We stayed at the Four Winds Music Festival, drinking beer and absorbing the sounds for about two hours or so, before the heavy presence of tie-dyed shirts and bearded hippies threatened to overwhelm us. But even the throng of aging flower children could not diminish the raw talent that flowed from the truly talented but sadly under-represented PE locals. We were blown away.

In other, completely different and completely irrelevant “news” (I use the term very generously here) I’ve got some more Photoshop entries here.

Bad
I’ve recently hit upon something of a theory regarding hippies and conspiracy followers. I’d like to bounce if of you.

The first is a possible explanation as to why some people are so willing to accept conspiracy theories as gospel truth without so much as a glimpse at contrary evidence. They’re easy to identify. They’re the ones who look like deers caught in headlights the moment you discuss the evidence on both sides of things like moon landings, 9/11, 2012 and the likes. It is as though the idea of contrary evidence never even occurred to them.

Personally, I think that occurs because the supporter is so eager to be counter-cultural, so keen to distance themselves from a society they don’t understand, that they will latch on to the nearest crackpot theory. And any discussion on those crackpot theories is an attack which, unfortunately, becomes an attack on their cultural and social stand. The other is people’s eagerness to discuss complex issues (politics specifically) into simple dichotomies or gross over-simplifications. With the elections coming up, it’s more prevalent than ever before. I just think that because some systems are actually massively complex, for our little ape brains just can’t process it and so people just invent abstractions that make sense to them. It is, in other words, a shortcut to actual thought and analysis of information.

Some to think of it, that would explain most bigots’ thought processes.

Oh, and yes, fucking Earth Day.

Ugly
I had a plan. I planned to trawl through the EP Herald website and bring you the juiciest letter from their letters page, lies and outright offensive fabrications so that we could mock them in unison. Alas, the EP Herald’s website is in a worse shape than I thought. It is impossible to track back old issues. Let alone the letters page on old issues. What a useful publication. Still, I did manage to salvage one or two.

Only banana republics prioritise so-called struggle credentials ahead of unblemished character and integrity.

This one is one of my favourites ‘cause I love the implication: character and integrity actually have nothing to do with the struggle.

What about the thousands of South African voters resident in Perth, Brisbane, Melbourne, Adelaide and Sydney? I cannot believe it. It took court action to enable this vote to become available to those living abroad. The ANC were not in favour of the proposal and it appears as if they have now succeeded in side-lining this vote. So much for our much vaunted constitution and what will remain of it by the time these elections have run their course.

So, clearly, according to this reader, the ANC has a nefarious plan to sideline citizens living abroad. But not all of them, just the lazy ones without a car.

I HAVE lived for nine years in Fairhaven – nine very happy years. Fairhaven is a retirement village and consists of many delightful cottages and flats. It is not an “old age home” as stated by your correspondent Nomahlubi Sonjica

I think it’s safe to say that if you have the time to write a letter pointing out the distinction, you’re in an old age home.

I WENT to the PE Museum last week hoping to spend some time looking at the exhibits, only to discover the entrance fee is now R45. Admittedly this includes the oceanarium and snake park, but as I had no intention of visiting them I was left with no option but to depart. This, I might add, for a facility I have always known to be free. Just another way we are being milked.

Yes, of course, the struggling museum complex barely able to maintain its fading infrastructure is “milking” the public. It’s obviously spending all its untold fortunes on whores and cocaine.