UNDERCULTURE :: 2006 :: January

{ Monthly Archives }

January 2006

Laurent Mine

Laurent

Laurent is sponsored by J&B, and powered by sheer will- and liver-power alone.

2006 01 28

Julie Vanderlinden

With fear, Renaud suddenly realizes he can see right through to the other side of her head…	Don’t be fooled by the innocent face, she simply scanning the area for sharp objects to throw at you.
We are planning to place her dismembered head next to a horse, just because we can.	This is her looking all nice for a party of some description. She said she was just going out with some girlfriends and were not going anywhere near a club or a bar, ever, never. Yeah, we didn’t believe her either.
My Brother attempts to throw Julie out the door. He should be recovering from the back operation any day now.	This is, in fact, not my sister, but my brother with hair. Either that, or my brother is actually my sister without hair, or… Never mind…
Julie was a war veteran of 4 years, when they captured her and tortured her. She recently escaped, using nothing but a spoon and some snot.	Julie has the uncanny ability to detach her head and float about, as can be clearly seen in this picture.

2006 01 27

Cedric Vanderlinden

Here, you can see me in my full war gear.	I Arrrrrrr a pirate!
I normally wouldn’t drink this much, but I supported the French in the World Cup. I didn’t have a choice.	Bite me 2: 2 Bite 2 Harder
It’s not so much “Blue Steel” as “deer caught in headlights.”	Bite me.
This is why you should never look back. Brrr.	Tequila allows one to channel the forces of the Underworld. Here, for example I am channeling the forces of Barney the Dinosaur or Lucifer. I am not sure which…
I am Raoul the Gay Hairdresser to a whole number of lasses. Unfortunately.	I am incontinent when I drink too much, apparently.
I spent years sculpting my body into a finely honed tool of war and destruction and folk-dancing.	This is me, by the way, looking way-cool at the wheel of the Maximum Impulse Machine. It will, hopefully be attempting to break the world two-wheel land speed record, right here in South Africa!
The mug’s name is Nemesis, it is my new drinking partner.	We’re not as evil as we look, which is a very good thing…
No matter what you do, I am still better than you.	If they used pictures like this to advertise role-playing, they’d make a lot more money. Here we are celebrating the end of another successful battle.
Belgium taught me that there’s nothing nicer than hot chips and cold beer.	This is why I try and avoid having photos taken of me.
You wouldn’t know what pain and agony a little ventriloquism, and a stuffed cow can cause.	I am the games master on many occasions, which is OK except for having to remain silent and positive in view of the players’ pitiful loser tactics.
This photo actually belongs in the Zombie Gallery, where all the failed and strange pictures of me belong (and there are many).	I must always be careful with what I wear. Somtimes the Jacket of Coolness ™ is too much for some women to resist.
This picture is cropped: there was another person in this photo who didn’t deserve it.	As a super-hero, I am able to blind people with my forehead at 50 paces.
I think I might have some sort of hideous gestural Touretts…	It’s not a bald spot. It’s a solar panel for a sex machine. Yes. OK. Fuck you. It’s a bald spot.
I am hypnotized far too easily by Fashion TV, especially the bikini shows. Still, I am getting better: the public masturbation is down to a minimum.

2006 01 25

People
Friends
Family

Melina Kopp

Melina is a model. She poses for those photos that you find in photo frames when you originally buy them.	Melina’s hair is a cunning camouflage mechanism. Here we see her melding into the table.
Michel cunningly put magnets into his jacket. Melina and her iron earrings were no match.	I had to let her have her photo taken with me. She paid me.

2006 01 23

Mozart

Mozart as a puppy. You can already see that he’ll grow up to be fierce, deadly and insane. This picture was taken shortly before he lunged at the camera and took three of my fingers off.	This is Mozart. He is a sort-of-Husky. He howls to Boo! and the Austin Powers soundtrack - go figure. People think he’s gay.
Mozart doesn’t understand the concept of ‘fetch’. To him, ‘fetch’ is played by grabbing onto a chewable object (in this case: a severed head) and running away with it.	People think that my dog is scary. I don’t understand why. They say its the evil glow in his eyes. Others say it is the scent of man-flesh that hangs about him.
I’ve trained Mozart to hunt women for me. It saves me time.	I didn’t photoshop those eyes. He is possessed, that’s all.

2006 01 23

Bon-Papa

The good, the bad, and the ugly… Not necessarily in that order.	Well, if you’re that interested in my family to have made it this deep into my website, you deserve to be treated to my Grandparents kissing. Yes: They used tongue.
I don’t think that they’ve quite worked out the whole sun tanning thing in Belgium.	He might not look like it, but my grandfather is the source of all my pimpin’ ways.
My grandparents have never been more alive since they retired.

2006 01 21

Claus

They say that, after a while, a dog and his master begin to resemble each other. The transformation into complete Zombie-dom is almost complete.	Claus is a strange dog. He has one brown eye, one blue one. He has one straight ear and one skew one. He is a fucked-up mixture of Husky, German Shepard and Border Collie. I think he emerged from some sort of Satanic Orgy. He is so dumb, he probably voted for the DP.
Claus likes to channel Lucifer for moth-hunting.	One of my many dog-porn pictures.
See! That’s pretty fucked up. Right there.

2006 01 04