Phillipe Kopp
 Everyone tells me that Philippe is a nice guy. I know the truth: he is a dark Elder God sent to Earth to enslave us. I must just find proof… |
 Run! |
{ Monthly Archives }
June 2005
Deirdre Kohler
 I DO NOT want to know what these two’s hands were up to under the table cloth. |
 The best kinds of marriage are those sealed with Velcro hairstyles. |
 She sees dead people. |
 In this final scene from Return of the King, Gollum is seen wrestling the One Ring away from Frodo. |
 Deirdre (on the left) quietly picks fleas, while her British Siamese Twin by the wrist, attempts to drink more Tequila |
 One of Deirdre’s many assets, of course, are her many attractive friends. They’re just a little too married… |
 We are privileged to get such a famous actress to take time off her busy schedule to join us. Thank you, Gollum. |
Zombie!
 Zombies find employees delicious. |
 Zombies are notoriously bad ninjas. Here, the zombie tries to hid behind a glove. |
 Julie felt no fear being that close to a zombie. She was, after all, family. |
 Undead Zombie Keith Richards: Eat your heart out! |
 Zombieness is contagious, as I’ve been saying for years. |
 You know… Zombies just don’t get no respect. |
 Apparently, drinking makes you grow breasts. I’ve got the bra on, just in case… |
 Metallitango! |
 The zombie is too cool. Chicks dig it. |
 … Braaaaiiinnns…. |
 Grant, channeling Satan, leads the zombie army out of the Kitchen. |
 Being a Zombie appears to be genetic. It may have something to do with our parents pleging us to the Undead Lords… |
 Zombies, contrary to popular beleif, are not always after brains. Sometimes, they are after ass. |
 A camera, a pelvic thrust, a unatural love for the dead, these are the only things a zombie needs. |
 With a mug-full of zombie-juice, and my faithful mechanised henchman, I am ready to take over the world! |
 Pyoo! Pyoo! |
 My B-Grade horror film appearance is nowhere more present than when I’m tanked on Tequila and dared to swim naked. |
 Bringing Horror to the world since 1973 |
 No party can seriously be considered cool until I’m there. Here, John acts as my bodyguard and ensures that the girls in the room don’t think themselves cool enough to approach me. It’s tough having style and taste. |
 Creating art is a tough process. I have to eat the groin of virgins before I am ready. Here I am seen munching down on a particularly tasty pelvic morsel… |
 I give people nightmares. It comes with the territory. |
 Even at the fireside, people flock to my side in order to bask in my coolness, no matter how creepy I look… |
 In order to prove just how ugly, but cool I am, we dressed identically. There’s no contest. |
 Even Zombies need oral pleasures every now and then. |
 Here, in a cunning maneuver, I am sliding up under the skirt of one of my house guests. |
 Alcohol makes people cool. In order to be fair to everyone, I stopped drinking for 40 days. Here I am reunited with my darling after my fast. |
 Pool playing: demonic |
 Ok. Yes. I admit it: I was purposefully pulling a face here. Someone had to make up for Ryan’s suaveness. |
 Gabrielle and Leanne look on with awe as I read out the measurements of my zombie member… |
 Contrary to contemporary beliefs, zombies are actually quite good climbers. |
 Here we see the zombie in full attack mode. Poor Jaci. She was up for a paddle without a creek. |
